Friday 8 August 2008

Shaven Haven

I woke this morning at 8am and knew something wasn't quite right. My lower left leg felt kind of numb, but soft against the sheets at the same time. On inspection the memories of a few hours earlier came back. Whilst under a blanket of booze after 3 bottles of wine and no dinner, I'd agreed to let a friend wax half of my left calf. I'd been babbling to her about techniques for this bizarre tradition after being haranged by come of the Mitre club for having wolly legs. My first race is on the horizon so drunkenly I agreed that it was now or never. Whether it was the wine or what I'm not sure, but the waxing experience wasn't anywhere near as painful as I'd expected. Surreal yes, painful no.

Unfortunately, I think she was either freaked out or bored by the time the front half of my leg looked like I'd sat alittle too close to the fire. So I returned home with only 15% of the job done. With the Devil ride in 2 days I decided I had to finish the job myself. There were 2 options, wander into a local boutique and explain that I was skinned whilst half-asleep by crazed women and needed a clean up job, or get in the shower and do a diy job. I decided on the latter after playing out the many boutique scenarios in my head. All ended in horrendous embarrasment infront of a gaggle of beautiful blondes.

An hour later I staggered out of the shower, knees bleeding, looking almost like Neo when he's woken from his coccon pod in the Matrix. Without the tubes and red goo shit. And I left my eyebrows alone. Its been an interesting experience no doubt, discovering the difficulties of dealing with knees, and receiving advice from my ex-girlfriend on the benefits of regular moistourising and exfloliating. Dear God.

The next stage is to get my story right. 'Why do you shave your legs?'. The age old question. I can't say other than peer pressure and not wanting to be the odd one out. I read a good article on another weblog titled 'Why do cyclists shave their legs: the only explanation you'll ever need.' You decide...

3 comments:

GT said...

Lives in Brighton... (With a man) Shaves legs... Nuff said.

kid cazual said...

man i knew it would come to this , im proud of you ya smoooooothy

gwydion said...

I'm disappointed Bert - you should've broken with tradition. But now the dreaded deed is done, the least you can do is compensate with bizarre facial/head hair - I demand a Mexican Revolutionary Moustache for winter! ;-)